Tall-Tales
by homozyghost
Summary: Usopp was really good at making stories. Like, seriously good. If only his crew would stop fighting over who the best character is- Nami doesn't think it would stop though.


**A/N: I imagine the Strawhats to be children at heart- What way to captivate them other than by weaving tales? Also, this is to appreciate Usopp because I feel like he doesn't get much love as a story maker. Like us!**

 **Disclaimer: One Piece©Eiichiro Oda**

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 _Tall-Tales._

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"No, no, no, no- Alice was the one who got captured in Chapter 5 not Elaine. You got it completely wrong, Mosshead."

"Look, okay, I do not give a single damn about this at all but I do know I'm right. It was Elaine."

"Guys, no. It was Crockie that got captured! The Dragon likes Crockie!"

"Crockie's the dog, Luffy, why the hell would the shitty dragon want the dog?"

"Cause Crockie's a good boy!"

Nami groaned tiredly, resting her head on the kitchen table. What the heck happened to made them so riled up? Thirty minutes earlier, it had been much quieter. She was enjoying her orange juice- of course, courtesy of Sanji- and writing in their crew's logbook when Zoro came in.

Obviously, that was the first trigger.

Zoro had a placid expression when he came in but as soon as he saw Sanji, who was cleaning the dishes at the time; Nami knew his mood went sour. He grunted as he walked, much like a child in a silent tantrum. Zoro pulled the fridge open after punching in the keys and pulled booze from a compartment.

Sanji scowled.

"Goddamn Marimo, when will you ever stop drinking? Next time you know it we'd be seeing you with liver failure."

Zoro snorted out a reply just as wittily. "When will you ever stop smoking? Next time you know it we'd be seeing you with bronchitis." He slammed the door of the fridge close and guzzled his drink. Nami could see their cook flaming up, and sighed.

Then Luffy just had to come barrel in, sunshine and all- and Nami had to sigh more audibly.

"Guys guys guys guys guys guys-"

" _What_ , Luffy?" Nami felt obligated to answer her captain when two of her crewmate were caught up in their verbal arguement. It was getting louder and louder and Nami gripped her feather pen tighter and tighter.

Luffy probably sensed something in the air because he immediately spat out what he wanted to say. "-The Dragon that went whoosh in Usopp's story, who did he kidnap?"

 _Ah, this._

On every Saturday night, Usopp would hold a story time session for the whole crew. The sniper said that they need some more bonding time after their two year separation, and when he brought that up- no one really had the heart to disagree.

Robin and Brook thought it was a good idea, and though it was actually meant to entertain the other two kids on the crew (Luffy and Chopper), they had plopped in on one session along with Franky. Well onto the third Saturday every crew member was listening to Usopp's tall-tales of Queens and Kings, paupers and royals.

Nami had to admit, Usopp was a really good story teller. Every word had impact and it was how every story should flow. He managed to bring out the curiosity of everyone, no matter how old or young, and make them interested enough to stay and listen.

And that's why, when he started pulling out a series of stories out of nowhere; everyone was hooked. It was in a chronological order, and the characters were reoccurring- A trait that Nami knew would draw everyone in to know more about the story.

Nami would be lying if she said she wasn't impressed; considering the fact that Usopp most probably pulled the whole plot right out of his ass.

 _Bravo, sniper, you've made us into fans._

That is to say, there were bigger fans.

"The King's daughter, Luffy. Of Bartmore Kingdom. _God_ , keep up."

Zoro grinned, tipping his head to drink a little more of the toxic liquid and Sanji had to grimace.

"Elaine? Heck no, it was Alice, the princess of the neighbouring country. Maybe you're the one who needs to keep up, Marimo."

Zoro frowned.

Glares flashed, and Nami kept writing the logbook, completely unfazed. This wasn't the first time this happened before. Everyone fights about Usopp's story plot all the time now that it's on Chapter 23.

"What the _hell_?" Nami loved the fact that Zoro sounds very offended, "Alice was riding her horse to visit Prince Aelar for a picnic- She didn't do jackshit."

Luffy laughed as Sanji flared and scrubbed furiously at another dish- Everyone knows Sanji to be the biggest Alice fan despite the Cook's tendency to side with all the girls.

"That happened in Chapter 3! The Dragon captured Alice in Chapter 5!"

"Now listen here you-"

This went on for a good thirty minutes.

Nami decided she had had enough bullshit for one day, so she stood up, walked over and wacked their heads with the logbook.

"SHUT UP! It was Prince Aelar- All of you guessed wrong! Elaine didn't get captured, she _rescued_ the Prince. Alice sat in her castle doing whatever the fuck she does all day and Crockie went with Elaine on her quest to save the Prince! Happy now?!"

The biggest Aelar fan narrowed her eyes to whoever that dared to oppose her words, and stepped back when all of them nodded. With a huff, she swiped her orange juice off the table and walked away, slamming the galley door to their collective faces.

She met Usopp on the way down to the library, and the sniper had to shudder at the woman's expression; hellfire raging in her very eyes.

" _Another_ Elaine and Alice fight? Seriously?"

A smile graced the devil's lips and Nami tutted. "All of this is on you, Usopp. That's what you get for being such a good story teller."

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 **A/N: I feel like making a sequel with Law. What do y'all think?**


End file.
